T'was Two and a Half Nights Before Christmas

T'was Two and a Half nights before Christmas, and all through the night

the noise was simply deafening, The House was a sight.

No stockings, no tree, no tinsel, no bows

No presents or packages, no roast beast or snow,
except for "The Middle" a few miles away,
had made some snow, for their show, but just for a day.
but other than that the cupboards were bare,
not one bit of evidence that Christmas was there. 

Oh I'm sorry, there were stockings about,
and bras and panties and ale and stout.
There were games to be played and treats to be shared
But were the games, equally to Charlie's, in compare?
Berta was picking through the table of stuff,
the butter the oil the choices were rough.
Hosing off the washer for the 93rd time,
She exclaimed as she left, this is simply a crime.

Out on the sand, near the ocean on the beach,

Alan chased three nude girls with a scream and a Creech,
Malibu's finest  caught up with him in the end,
The girls got away to Walden once again.
Who had more girls in one bed there ever could be,
But finding Walden was a trick that you had to see.
There he is they shout as they were looking down,
He's the one with the thing that can almost touch the ground.

 Jake, now a Man, had settled down with three of his own,

All of them wondering when Walden would be alone.
Finding Walden a trick they knew it would be,
but they were determine as determined, determine could be.
But settling wasn't something Jake had concern
as settling for Walden girls was something any man would yearn.
And Jake was bewilder but happy and proud as punch,
As he was lead to the bed for what he thought might be lunch.

Charlie not proud of how things had become,

Although rich, and famous not winning but won.
No way Charlie was dead, never could it be,
He has much more earning potential for Chuck to see,
But Charlie is happy of the things that he's done,
and is proud of the training to his brother's only son.
He will move on, but also, he'll be back again,
As the show will fail, if not, in the end.

 So the house, what a sight, No Christmas to show,

and the Show, not a sight that would change or grow.
Two and a Half now Three and more it would seem
As the story grows more than a story could glean.
but  Christmas it would be never the less
and presents would be not unwrapped but undressed
money, prayers and wishes of no concern
Christmas, who cares, there'll receive much more than they earn.

Copyright © 2011 Ted Allen Off

All rights reserved.

Even Charlie Thinks Two and A Half Men are headed for the Dumper

Even Charlie Thinks Two and A Half Men are headed for the Dumper

Jake we need you to liven up the show again, please come back.

As two and a Half Men, slowly fade into the sunset because the writing staff has left the long lonesome trail, shall we say 'Adios' to the highest paid, 'and poorest', actor and the highest paid, 'and best' used to be kid actor?

Has the dynamic duo and Ashton, met their match and lost the will to live, quickly forgotten, and to be the most expensive debacle of television history?

Hope you can keep M & M and Theory going, maybe you could bring back Dharma and Greg again, if you can get them to play nice.

Come on Chuck, help the writers out, try a little more inspiration on the script and a little less on the vanity, although the vanity frames are getting pretty poorly done too. Even I am running out of things to write about, it's no wonder you finally are too.

M e n

What happened to Charlie Waffles Residual payments.

Two and a Half Men Child Support and Alimony.

While Charlie Harper played by Charlie Sheen as Charlie Waffles was alive he made more than enough to pay three mortgages and support a lavish Malibu, or as Alan called it "The Bu", life style.  That money didn't just vanish.  There should also be maybe life insurance and since Charlie was traveling, travel insurance which the credit card companies claim they offer but I've never seen any payment from that so I guess it's not very likely anything from insurance companies ever get paid out.

Somebody is getting a lot of money and probably it will be Rose and Judith for Child Support and Alimony???

As the Manly World Turns, the death march is progressing, will Men fade away?

Men-Men- men-men men -men -men -men -men- -men-men

Walden learning to Party Hardy just like Charlie

Walden learning to Party Hardy just like Charlie. Has Ashton Kutcherr metaphored into Charlie Sheen, Walden Schmidt evolved (Or devolve) into Charlie Harper.  Is Alan due a 14th chance with Lindsey and did Jake make it to Clown College?  With Penn and Teller's blessing?

As Walden Schmidt metamorphosis or evolve into Charlie Harper, what is the likelihood of this life settling right back to the same old routine. The writers have been on vacation a long time and the winging it has got to end someday.

Did we really need another Charlie or was the show stagnating in the first place and needed a new and compelling direction, the latter being preferred by many. I think the rating are speaking volumes but there's little competition with Dr. House writers also appearing to be on permanent sabbatical. There is nothing else worth watching.

It truly boils down to, if the show is going to stay viable, they had better locate some competent writing staff soon because, the other networks will find something to beat them and have several seasoned Man shows that will knock Men out if it continues to flail as it is.
Let's try to hold on a couple more episodes and see if something starts to take hold. Otherwise, it'll be the death march for -

Men- men men men men - men - men men- men men-men men

Two and a Half Men Half Baked

Waldens following in Charlis's Footsteps as Masterbaker. Watching Walden Schmidt's metamorphoses into and maybe channel the spirit of the infamous Charlie Harper with Charlie Sheen nowhere in sight.

Well, although slow, the show is progressing towards converting Walden to Charlie quickly.

Walden is already a Masterbaker and as Charlie had learned to open a cinnamon bun cans, Walden seems to be enjoying the same path of righteous dude. Is the doll's mom and her hydroponics, supplying the righteous chronic or is it Acapulco Gold?

 Speaking of cinnamon buns I think we should be allowed some preview. The suspense is killing us.  How much more effort can Alan put in to losing Lindsey and more importantly, how much more effort can Lindsey put in to keeping Alan? And the most perplexing question of all times, why?

 They seem to be tying up loose ends pretty quickly with slow story line progression. Jake is already completely gone and no sign of Evelyn, Rose, Herb or Judith.

Maybe the show is only half baked but what I can tell it was all baked last night. It seems the writers have lost the will to live.

At least Walden is totally over his ex-wife and that story line has completely ended?  Does these mean the end of the dynamic duo and the show?

For these and all others unanswered questions, watch Monday nights on CBS same Men station, same Men time, Dah dah dah dah - dah dah dah dah - MEN

Rose Stalking for Charlie's Kid's

Is the impetuous Rose now on a man hunt or rather a boy hunt for Charlie's offspring?

Has she developed her maternal instincts, so finely honed that she is now using her stalking skills to hunt down and rescue all the Charlie kids?

Is Jeremy/ Chuck and his phony mother on her list?

Is no one safe from her years of training and abilities in surveillance?   

Will she fall madly in love with Walden only to have to start stalking a new?

Why is Walden taking the half man position on the title shot of the show and is he really?

Or will Walden's wife get half his stuff plus visitation rights with taken care of Walden?

If this keeps up, this will become a daytime soap too.

Will the cape crusader ever get out of this one???

Stay tunes same Men channel, same men time.  Whatever

Dah - dah - dah - dah     dah -dah - dah - dah     MEN

Further Exploits of the Imfamous Rose and Child.

Is our beautiful Rose, the love of all our lives, over the 'Meat Explosion' in Paris. How utterly, de-romanticizing, demoralizing and yucky. I hope Charlie was really, really drunk, however I don't think you could ever be drunk enough for something like that, a meat explosion?

Let's just move on, now that Rose is possibly with child, Charlie's Child, will she be more a fixture in the Harper Family?

We've noted Lindsey is on the hunt for Alan. Has she, now got some good baby news for him and maybe some alimony and child support news as well, Maybe Lindsey will allow Alan to take another shot at the house, no smoking of course? I think by the end of the season Alan could be paying three alimonies and three child supports very easily.

Maybe even the doll could be thrown in there somewhere and Alan could be back to delivering pizzas to pay another palimony and child support.

Herb seems like a really good sport, maybe he'll hang around Judith even after he gets the news of Alan and Judith's bedroom triathlon. Oh that's not right it'd be a triathlon with Herb there, I guess Judith and Alan's adventure was a biathlon as they both may be bi? Although we do know Alan speaks fluent Spanish, he may be Bi Bi.

And Jake, poor Jake, maybe he'll attend the prestigious Beverly Hills Realtor School and end up putting Evelyn out of business, learning and becoming the Greatest realtor of all times and blowing everyone's minds, especially after his dismal failure of the infamous CLAP Test and disrespecting Penn and Teller.

I'm still percolating some copious and tubular imagination here, nothing perfunctory or misogynistic.

Hey here's a way out there thought, Adam West, Walden's Papa, and Burt Ward are living together next door to Chelsea, Ed and Chelsea's dad. Now that would be a coincidental occurance? "Pow"   "Bang, Bang"  "Poke"  "Oww"

For these and all others, watch Monday nights on CBS same Men time, same Men channel, Dah dah dah dah - dah dah dah dah -                                 MEN